Monday, May 21, 2007

Oregonians can't drive

I read recently that Portland was one of the best cities for road rage. Apparently the survey takers didn't want my opinion. You know what I really hate? When Oregonians try and get on the freeway at 35mph. It's a fuckin' freeway you shitheads! If the speed limit is 55, most people are driving 50 to 70 meaning even my grandmother has to slow down so you can get your stupid ass on I-5. Why am I always behind that person? They leave me with half a second to accelerate out of the way of some oncoming semi, whose cranked up driver is rockin' out to Toby Keith with his #3 sticker on the back window and ready to run me off the road.

Then there are the two step lefties that don't have the patience or the balls to make a left turn from a side street to a major road and instead go sit in the middle turning lane and wait another five minutes to finish the process since they were at a stop in between two directions of traffic.

Now Oregon has this new law that you have to wait for pedestrians to get all the way through the crosswalk before you can drive your car through. I went to the Eastside and it drove me nuts. Nobody can walk across the street at the same time, and you just keep waiting and waiting and waiting. And they don't care, because they have a bus pass and that's their way of getting back at people like me who actually have good credit and can buy a car. I just came back from China, and in Shanghai, nobody cared if you were crossing the street with a walk signal or not. They just honked their horns and stepped on the gas, and if you didn't move you were dead. I was crossing this busy street and a bus ran a red light 5 seconds late and just laid on the horn. Everybody just started running and pushing each other like the Who was playing Cleveland. Maybe if that happened here there wouldn't be such an obesity problem.

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